Live blogging the DG table session for Psycho Beach Party!

Psycho Beach Party is under way!  We are in the second evening; after our table reading last night, which was absolutely hilarious and painfully funny, we are all tremendously excited about this show.
So we are going to be live blogging occasionally and having a good time keeping you up-to-date with what is going on in the rehearsal space.  :-)

So I have missed some hilarious stuff because of some social activism (gotta wreck Nikki Haley's veto of arts funding somehow), but let's try to see what other brilliant things emerge tonight...

7:31:  Mother-lovin' java.  It's new on the menu at Starbucks...

7:32:  Jayce is explaining the bowling balls versus pompadours. Well, there it is.

7:33:  There has to be an uncomfortable silence after "He looks like a six-foot wiener."

7:36:  And it's Rick with the new line reading:  "You're a good cat, Star Guy..."

7:37:  Anne:  "This is the Arthur Miller section."

8:25:   Dadgumit!  Lost an hour worth of really good stuff.  Let's see what I can remember.

8:12:  Debra:  "I can't get all my sex lines."  Which is exactly the reason the rest of us are here.

7:46:  Rick is funnier when he messes up.

8:10:  Matt to Harrison:  "Are all your lines before mine?"

8:02:  Its worth the price of admission to hear Joel say "sexual intercourse."

7:51:  At some point, Matty was talking about bananas in his fly....

Jayce and Joel are the only one who got the reference to that one surf song that no one else knows.

8:36:  Reached intermission.  And another dance break, just like Rick likes in improv shows...

Oh, we decided that this blog is going to go to our legislators as a reason to NOT cut arts funding.  Because can you imagine what would happen with a city full of bored actors and performers?

I don't care who you are, "As red as your ass when I finish spanking you" is a tough line to get through.

Chris Onken storytelling.  Chris says to Rick: "Rick, you need to get a 'V'."  Rick:  "What would I do with a 'V'."  Chris:  "Anything you want...."

8:49:  Steinbeck:  "Women have the minds of whores and the vaginas of Presbyterians."

8:49:  Anne:  "God, I hope that was Steinbeck and not one of my ex-boyfriends."

8:52:  Evan:  The William Inge quote is:  "Women have the minds of Presbyterians and the vaginas of whores."

8:54:  Matty:  "You're a one of a kind chick, girl-let...."

8:56:  Someone needs to cut Matty off....  :)  "It was cut when I was born, you can't cut it again...."

8:59:  Jayce:  "It's like a drug addict trying to justify his addiction..."  It's really good.

9:00:  Matty gives us the word "Rectum" in slow motion.  Well played, Matty.  Well played.

9:03:  Beach music sounds like peckers flying off.  And there is more than one person who arrived at that conclusion independently.

9:04:  Jayce:  "There's more of an attempt to Betty Crocker the hell out of this situation."  And in a contemporary context, Paula Deen.

9:11:  Rick:  "She swallowed beaver."

9:12:  Evan:  "Keep the rectum, but lose the beaver."

9:24:  And now, the show is a PSA; statistics and everything. 

9:28:  Moby Dick would be so much different if it started, "Call me Herbert Mullen."

9:30:  And that's it for the read through!  Sorry we lost a bit in the middle, but if you know us at all, you'll know that there are enough hilarious people here that it was all fantastically good stuff.  Follow us on twitter @distractedglobe, facebook, everywhere else.  Show opens July 19!

Twelfth Night, and we're opening Saturday!

The live blog was on hiatus while we were feverishly working on set, lines, costumes, technical aspects, and everything else associated with the play.  But now, we're starting to do full runs of the performance, which means that all of the ancillary work is winding down.  And now, we can just have fun hanging out in the Green Room with a lot of hilarious people.

So we've already started with the hilarity:

6:10:  Rick is pontificating about the need to bring in some urine absorption for the gents bathroom, which led to a whole interesting discussion of bathroom habits of men and women, which led to:

6:11:  Jerry:  "I'm eating over here."  Wendy:  "So, Hepatitis-C...."

6:18:  Jayce, looking in the green room fridge:  "Wow, there's actually nothing growing fuzz in here for once.  And we've also gotten rid of the props from last year...."

6:19:  Joel:  "I thought they were dog treats.  They looked like rawhide donuts."

6:20:  Jayce:  "I can remember a 45 minute segment while in 3rd grade that has absolutely no relevance to anything."

6:29:  Don Quixote's brother, Juan Quixote.

6:36:  J. P.: "I should probably get dressed."

6:44:  Wendy:  "You should take some of that industrial grade deodorant and rub it on your legs."

7:52:  Well, I left for a while to go warm up for this run, and apparently nobody wanted to live blog.  Anyway, we have a run starting in 8 minutes; so perhaps more soon while I'm not out on the stage....

Happy Birthday to us!

It's the birthday of the Distracted Globe; we are 8 years old today!  We will be live blogging today because it's a working birthday; we will be throwing down on Twelfth Night again today, hoping to run all the scenes in the show at some point of the day.  So to bring us up to speed:  the set is making tremendous progress in the building and painting aspects, costumes are picking up steam, and Jerry is abusing the actors just enough to keep them off-balance....

1:30:  Rick is asking Siri some questions she doesn't want to answer, apparently.

1:50:  The actors are starting to trickle in.  Coffee is well represented so far; at least half of the actors have some sort of cup in their hand.

2:00: Vocal warmups by Matt Reece.  Unfortunately, we none of us kept our vocal warmup sheets from Merchant, so we're trying to go from memory...

2:25:  Orsino and his hyper-active hopeless romanticism....

2:44:  Entrance again to watch J.P. limp across the stage.  When there is a shipwreck, people end up limping.

3:01:  1.3 would be still more awesome with Rick doing a solo act.

3:03-3:20:  Orsino scene.  I'm not going to get into the details, but, well, yeah...

3:55:  Rick is a lesbian trapped in a man's body.

4:03:  Sebastian is Freudian slipping.

5:00:  Breaking for a couple hours in the middle to give the actors a little chance to unwind a bit. 

7:00:  And, we're back.

7:03:  Jerry is most assuredly NOT admonishing.

7:05:  Jerry: "Next weekend is tech."  Jayce:  "Stop SAYING that!"

7:07:  The storyland of Illyria.

7:10:  Rick:  "No, faith, I'll not stay a jot longer!"  Jayce:  "For God's sake, let me get to the page!"

7:14:  "Upstage.  It's a technical term, I should have used something easier."

7:21:  We need a sound effect for demagnetizing.

7:33:  And we have slobbering on hands.  Well, it's all one.

7:34:  Jerry:  "Anne, I wonder if there's any room for more bad acting here."  Anne:  "Oh, yes, absolutely!" 

7:39:  Anne:  "No, this is great.  This is better than the real housewives."

8:15:  "Let's repeat with less horribleness."

8:22:  And now we are dealing with premature enunciation.  One of the problems of age...

8:25:  It looks sort of like a bad episode of "Cops" over here.

8:59:  Fabian can butt act, but not Orsino.  Where is the justice?!

Twelfth Night Rehearsal - the fifth of July

Tonight's a working rehearsal for the Viola / Orsino scenes. After last night's mid-week yet weekend-esque celebration of our nation's independence, we are all a little subdued, but nevertheless ready to work...

We have made significant progress on the set over the last two days. Jayce worked straight through  the 4th of July party, while an ever-shifting group of company members and party guests came in to watch him paint and build - a few of us even picked up a paint brush ourselves. Next year we might sell tickets. Though we're not sure if it qualifies as performance art, or if we need to get licensed as a zoo. And today, we had some wonderful volunteers and of course the fabulous and sun-proof Maranda working on the floor treatment, construction of set elements, and assisting the amazing and hummingbird-metabolized Liz on costumes.  In unrelated news, Jerry is fighting a bit of crankiness. He had his car washed this afternoon, which prompted a rainstorm. His afternoon snack fell prey to the Carolina heat...

But we'll do our best to help him overcome these obstacles by working extra hard tonight.

Besides, he still has that riding crop.

There's a tempest brewing outside. Wind and rain and thunder. But inside? You be the judge.

7:17 - It's kind of like a Groundhog Day situation for Orsino. Everyday could be the day he finally gets her.

7:19 - Orsino's a junkie. His addiction? Melancholy.

7:20 -  Jerry -  "Servant. Footman. Minion. I guess that leaves you as piss boy."

7:23 -  Jerry: "this is why Orsino's army lost to Antonio."  Andy: "We didn't have the right soundtrack."

7:24 - Jerry to Curio: "not so OPENLY hostile. He IS the Duke. We still have to pretend."

7:26 - that awkward moment when you realize that Orsino is not a feminist.

7:38 - it is revealed that Orsino is not the only one who is experiencing Groundhog Day type moments, as Curio and Valentine and Feste make their entrance for the 7th time - only to hear "let's take that again." almost immediately. Jerry: "Isn't theatre glamorous?"

7: 44 -  Jerry: "Minutiae. But it's important minutiae!" 

7:50 - Jerry - "That was wonderful work! Take it one more time. Let's make sure it wasn't a fluke."

7:51 - Phyllis /  Feste begins to sing like an angel. And the heavens accompany her with thunder....

7:58 - Curio and Valentine ARE Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.

8: 06 - Jerry schools Andy on how to pronounce "Anti-thesis", Southern-style....

8:10 - Andy earns one punched pronoun. Atta boy!

8:15 - Viola puts out the big "what if."

8:17 - Heidi brings tears to our eyes...

8:20 -  Andy: "Can I try that again with some diction?"

8:22 -  Regarding Orsino's change in interest - "Give her this...jewel" -  Jerry's translation - "I don't really give a   $#*^ anymore! Give her this...roll of toilet paper. Give her my checkbook. Whatever."

8:31 - Jerry: "Okay, next up is Valentine's sabotage scene."

8:31 - Michele: "I love having influence without a big line load."

8:36 - Jerry: "I'm telling a fabulous story. You should all listen."

8:40 - Jerry: "You're getting lost in your servants, and we don't want that."

8:46 - Jerry: "alright let's try this ONE MORE time. And then I may cut all of it."

8:47 - Jerry - "One more time. I lied. I'm a terrible liar. Dance, monkeys! Dance!"

8:53 - Jerry: " you should have your moment together. It's always better when you suffer together rather than
          alone."

8:55 - Jerry is now working the downstage perimeter, riding crop in hand.

8:59 - Curio and Valentine are no longer alone in the litterbox. Orsino just climbed in.

9:02 -  Jerry: "It's really Cheez-Whiz, but I actually like it." 

9:19 - sometimes a riding crop is just a riding crop. Until it becomes a wand. Expecto patronum! 


9:23 - Andy pulls Jerry's ass out of the fire. We're all good friends here.

Twelfth Night, rehearsal 7.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the beautiful and fantastic Warehouse Theatre in Greenville, SC!  It's a beautiful night for a rehearsal, there's not a cloud in the ceiling.  And I think everyone is looking forward to Director Jerrold Scott's attempt to win yet another rehearsal from the Twelfth Night cast.  Last night, Jerry went to the riding crop to emphasize his points; thankfully, he was actually the only one to be injured by said riding crop last night, so the actors were lucky to have escaped the range of his weaponry.  So tonight, there won't be fireworks--those are two days away--but I am absolutely certain that there will be excitement and joy a-plenty.  So we're about to begin:  let's see what happens tonight.

7:12:  "I think it's just fists."

7:13:  Jerry:  "I like your secret stick.  Cane."

7:15:  Rick:  "I have no lines, I was holding the book as protection."

7:19:  Anne just gave Jerry the riding crop again.  Ohh, boy.  Twenty minutes in, and he's already got to go to the whip...

7:24:  Jerry has now gone to a German accent and is threatening to kill us all.

7:27:  And we have Jayce's favorite line of this show in 4.1.  And he also just did a plie.

7:34:  We're just going to strap Malvolio to the top of the car.

7:36:  Matt:  "I feel like I'm in Disneyworld."  Rick:  "There's a little man in the boat."  And Matt is having fun trying to be off-book while in the box.  Check Manfriend's or Samantha Else's facebook page for the photo.

7:42:  Jayce:  "His majesty looks like the piss boy."  Anne:  "Don't break Matt."

7:44:  "I think I will see if Kevin can keep him as dark as possible until he is activated."

8:08:  "Once you are off-book, I think you should contact one another."

8:09: "The street scene about a giant's ass."

8:21: "I think this gives you woka-woka room."

8:26: "Orsino doesn't need back-up singers."

8:27: Jerry: "Are you cuffed? Behind or in front?" Stephen: *quizzical look* Jayce: "Do you cuff behind or in front?" Jerry: "Do you have a cuffing preference?"

8:30: Jerry "Hey Joel, I want to make a line change -- can you give up your candy?" Joel: "Again?!" ...Jerry: "Orsino did not get his M&Ms and now he's pissed."

8:35: "It is like spider-sense, but not..."

8:36: "Do that again with less suck-titude."

8:37: Andy and Miranda attempt to Indian leg wrestle....

8:49: "Directing is geometry. Thank God because it was the only math I could pass."

9:07: "What do steampunk injuries look like?! ... I don't know ... Bleeding gears.... Oil...?!?!"

9:13: "I hate a drunken rogue" -W.S. (or was it Jayce? Oh goodness, where is a script when I need one?)

9:18: "You're a fickle bitch Sebastian."

9:29: Jerry: "Turn out Andy... No butt acting in my plays" Andy: "It is my best side" Jerry: "...I have nothing constructive to say..."

9:35: Speed through commences.
9:38: Phyllis and Andy compete for speediest coherent Shakespearean.
9:40: Cesario: "I'M LOST!"
9:42: Jerry: "NO BUTT ACTING! Learn!" [demonstrates] ...riding crop becomes metronome.
9:45: End.

Shakespearean O's are not punishment, they are propellers. Use them. (Jerry makes my heart happy)

Twelfth Night publicity photo.

 Feste, Olivia, Malvolio, Sir Toby

Photograph by Stephen Boatright Photography.

Twelfth Night, day 6.

And welcome.  We have built some platforms and some pedestals and brought in some furniture, so the space is starting to be roughed in.  The tabula rasa is filling with kitsch, one of the hallmarks of DG shows.  So, without any delay, let's jump right in:

2:02:  "Part of the closing ritual every night needs to be making sure Joel isn't still downstairs."

So I've seen the publicity shots, and they are fantastic.  I mean, like ankle-breakingly good.  Like, "Oh, so THAT'S what you mean by Steampunk?  My patella just dislocated in glee.  My nipples explode with delight."  That sort of thing.

2:24:  "He's kvetching, you're trying to placate him, that sort of thing."  Any Yiddish words automatically get mentioned.

2:27:  We might have to have somebody actually learn to play the viol d'gamboys. Apparently it's like a cello.

3:03:  And Spain is up 1-0 on Italy at Euro2012.  Yes, that is actually a sporting reference in a theatre. 

3:13:  The director is carrying a riding crop.  The actors are looking a little more nervous, especially Malvolio. 

3:15:  "Aren't I clever?  Aren't I sparkly and fabulous?"

3:31:  And Spain, 2-0.  It's a tall order for Italy to come back from that.

3:42:  "It's a little stalker-y."

4:01:  Antonio still has lines and Sebastian is long gone.  Might be a good time for a direct aside.  Manfriend: "And, follow him?"  Jerry:  "Yes, skipping, please."

4:09:  Joel is all about nerd-pride.  And Michele gives him credit for being a Renaissance man.

4:09:  Rick: "Go ahead, touch it."  Anne:  "Ooh, look at the action on that thing!"  Rick:  "You should feel the vibration on it.  I call it, 'Bob.'"

4:28:  3-0 to Spain.  It's pretty much over.

4:33:  "If you're going to do this, it's got to look like a compromising position."

4:33-4:37:  Words can't do this justice.  It would be futile.

4:46:  And Spain wins, 4-0.  

8:47:  Sorry to be away from it so long.  I know a lot of funny stuff has happened while I've been floating around, having dinner, being in scenes, and in trying on costumes.  Maybe I will have the blog up and available for everyone to add things as needed.

8:49:  Evan wants to be on the blog tonight.